well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
