I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
