i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize