I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I still have a little drunk in my system
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
