I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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