Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
