Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
