Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
