I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
