i don't like sucking hair
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
