i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
