My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
