i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
kristin has been a bad kristin
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
