id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Say something about gay babies.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
