He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
