seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
