i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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