Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
