I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
