We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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