From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
