How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
