he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
