saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
