yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize