Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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