sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize