Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
