we have officially lost it.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
