Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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