Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
