this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
