Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
