Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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