i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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