Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So squirting runs in the family.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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