would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
