I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
