there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
