Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
