She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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