So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
