how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
