idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
