Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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