Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
