I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That accounts for only three of the penises
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
