they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
