stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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