did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
