handjob tips. give me some.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
