I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
