I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
