I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
