He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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