Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
