it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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